Tag: Michael Slade Shock Theater

Wednesday, October 19th found me and my daughter, Rebecca, driving northward to Surrey, British Columbia. The day was gray but, living in the Pacific NW, we are used to such weather. Five hours later (Five hours! We usually get stuck between Tacoma and Seattle for hours!), we arrived at our hotel and prepared for a new adventure at the SiWC or Surrey International Writers’ Conference. I was very interested in this event as it offers “writers in all genres — from beginners to experts — the opportunity to both hone their craft and expose their work to the international literary marketplace.”

Next day, we registered for the SiWC conference in the lobby of the Sheraton Vancouver Guildford Hotel. Not a writer myself, and a first-time attendee, I was excited to explore.

A short time later, we headed upstairs to Diana Gabaldon’s Master Class, “Writing Sex Scenes.” I was interested to discover the format such a class might assume, but also its intriguing content as this can be a challenging topic. In my experience as an educator, most people don’t know how to talk comfortably about sex much less write about it in a way that is both engaging and interesting. As a scientist, it’s a topic that comes easily to me but one that can make others uneasy. The SiWC website describes Diana’s Master Class as follows:

Where most beginning writers screw up (you should pardon the expression) is in thinking that sex scenes are about sex. A good sex scene is about the exchange of emotions, not bodily fluids. That being so, it can encompass any emotion whatever, from rage or desolation to exultation, tenderness, or surprise. Come and learn how to write good sex scenes from a master.

My guess: the pun and humor of the class description suggests that it was written by none other than Herself!

On time, Diana strode into the room, looking cheerful and lovely, as always. She greeted everyone with a friendly smile and took her place at the head of the class.

For the next 3.5 hours (believe me, time flew!) Diana had us enthralled! I mean, who wouldn’t be actively listening when someone is reading sex scenes aloud? As Diana pointed out at the beginning of the workshop, we are human and sex is in our make-up. Biologically, we cannot help but turn our attention to sex. And this is why, when sex is done well, it is so mesmerizing. She enticed us with the admonition that sex scenes are about the exchange of emotions and not just sex organ engineering.

Diana read examples of well-written intimate scenes and contrasted these with badly-conceived (snort!) sex scenes. The latter sounded mechanical, much like watching a raunchy, porn movie as opposed to a sensuous, intimate scene from an excellent read or engaging film. This is such a literary issue that every year, The Guardian, publishes a Bad Sex Award, a list of poorly-composed sex scenes and not one gladly received by the authors. The 2015 recipient rewarded the media giant with a middle finger!

Evening found us at the Chapters Langley bookstore for Q&A with five Conference authors and for book signing. As many have come to expect, Diana’s erudite answers were candid and entertaining. This short video records her response to a question posed to all the authors: if they could rewrite their first book, what would change? Some of the other authors expressed regret or a cringe here and there over their initial efforts but Diana explained her creative process and said, even if she could, she really wouldn’t change anything about Outlander book. Whew! Honestly, how does one improve on such a solid, engaging, and splendid story?

Following the robust Q and A session, authors retired to nearby tables to sign our treasures. As ever, Diana was gracious and friendly to all!

My purchase was the new beautiful book, The Making of Outlander.

My favorite page from the tome? But, of course!

Next day, Rebecca and I did a little sight-seeing (the fall foliage and mountain views were stunning) and had a chance to speak with Diana. Our talk was far-reaching but I gleaned some awesome tidbits from our fav author.

• Malva is a character from Diana’s later books, yet to be filmed. I thought perhaps her name referred to its English word root, mal, meaning bad or evil. But, Diana’s response made me laugh out loud. No, her name came from a shampoo bottle!
• Book readers recognize Diana mastery at inserting the kernel of an idea in one book and then returning to it one, two or even three books later to resurrect that dormant seed and finish the story arc. She called such kernels, debris, which sit around awaiting a little literary sunshine and water to reach full bloom. Pretty amazing debris!
• Diana has attended the SiWC for 23 years! Her Conference schedule is chock full of obligations but she still finds time to do community philanthropic work which she notes on her FB page. She is modest about her good deeds as evidenced by her recent tweet about volunteering and service: “We grow up with the idea that you do good works, but you don’t boast about them in public.”
• Her favorite body part to write about are the buttocks. Mine, too! This made me laugh because my very first blog post was Anatomy Lesson #1: Jamie’s Tush or Bottom’s Up!  So, Jamie’s bottom is to blame for the Outlander Anatomy blog!
• Her fav character adapted by the Starz series is, Jamie. He gets my vote, too!
• She says the recreation of Culloden in S.3 is very well done. I canna wait!

Finally, she honored me by donning a necklace I made for her: sterling silver-wired chrysoprase beads supporting a vintage Chinese figure, Mr. Willoughby. His hollow body held a few (new) acupuncture needles obtained by my daughter from one of her clients.

That evening, Michael Slade’s Shock Theater with its Diabolical Players presented an engaging spoof of the 1958 film, “The Fly.” Diana read the part of heroine, Claire Randall. Frank Randall was the mad scientist, foiled by his own “disintegrator-integrator.” Jamie Fraser served as the Chief Inspector. This clever adaptation was complete with clomping heels, screaming lasses, slamming doors, eerie organ music, and The Fly!

My favorite line which Diana was required to read: “As everyone knows from the books I have published, I am a woman with needs.” Everyone laughed heartily! Her peers may have her pegged.

Attempting to transport through time and space, Frank ends up in his integrator-disintegrator with a fly. The transport involves an exchange of donor molecules. The fly receives Frank’s hand and head; Frank ends up with the fly’s head and “paw.” Frank-fly dies by compression in a compressor and fly-Frank gets eaten by a paper spider!

I saw the original B&W version of The Fly when I was 15! <G> To date, I have never heard a lucid explanation of just how the fly’s head and paw grew to fit the scientist’s body or how the scientist’s head and hand shrank to fit the fly. Anyone? Anyone?

The following day, a very animated Àdhamh Ó Brion (pronounced /AHgiv/) treated fans to a Gaelic Seminar organized by longtime Outlander fan, Koko Pipkin. As you probably know, he’s the Gaelic instructor for the Starz Outlander series. Àdhamh’s interesting and entertaining presentation included the history of the Gaelic language, the rise of the kilt…(erm…that can be taken many ways but in this instance, its revival in the Romantic Era by English landowners), violent suppression of the Gaelic culture all the way into the 1970’s, and a brief lesson in speaking Gaelic.

Àdhamh is endowed with a powerful singing voice and treated us to several Gaelic songs. That evening some of us joined Àdhamh for a small gathering where he belted out a number of good tunes. I agree with Sam, “He could go all night! Very talented!” This tune, sung at the seminar, is especially amazing! It speeds up until it’s almost like tumbling down the stairs! I’m surprised his tongue isn’t in knots by the ending.

Late that afternoon, an additional book signing event was sponsored by the Conference. The Gabaldon line was so long, it snaked four times through the room before fans were escorted into the author’s signing area. Even though the lines were long, people were friendly and patient, which was very nice to see. It truly is a pleasant conference.

Inside the autograph ballroom, Diana greeted each fan individually. She was stunning in red and black. Here she obligingly signs a fan’s cast. I love it: her purple nail polish matches the cast!

That concluded our adventure at SiWC. Next day found us hustling back across the border toward hearth and home. So glad we attended this lovely conference. I recommend it to all!

Next week another Fun Fact followed by another Anatomy Lesson on the GI Tract. Stay tuned!

A deeply grateful,

Outlander Anatomist